Involuntary Thrills

Involuntary Thrills

If I dig my fingernails
into my palms hard enough,
will they sink into my skin,
pull free from my cuticles.
I won’t be able to cut
cut cut.
These are the thrills,
the involuntary thrills,
the chills, the shivers.
But it’s a tight non-committal
cold relief,
this rigor mortis state of stuck
limbs, frozen arms and legs,
imbedded fingernails —
The dread of cutting,
the implications,
and the dread of not knowing
the relief.

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